Have I ever mentioned how much I hate this time of year? Well except for Halloween which is my favorite holiday.
My family has ruined these months for me. I have
very few happy childhood memories associated with the holidays and any that I do have are overshadowed by the knowledge of the upcoming get togethers that I force myself to attend and inflict upon poor J and Peanut just to keep the peace.
The ever sought after, yet non existent, peace.
Instead of laughing over pumpkin pie and cider there will be arguments about who
didn't bring/contribute/help enough and fights about who
did eat/drink/smoke too much.
Instead of the family sitting around the fireplace with a big mug of spiced eggnog there will be three separate get togethers because "so and so will not deign to be in the room with so and so after what was said at Thanksgiving!"
During it all I will sit back or give noncommital answers because I don't care. I don't care what they are fighting about and I don't want to be involved. Or I will play peace keeper. I am the one with the overly loud voice cracking corney jokes to ease the tension. I am the one soothing the ruffled feathers with repeated sentences of "they didn't mean it. Come on you know they are drunk/high/whatever".
I do that for as long as I can take but I am always the one to leave a gathering first. At which time they will sit and talk about how I think I am better than all of them.
My own personal "ground hog day" played out every year.
I think the easiest way to paint a portrait of my family for you would be to tell you this short yet perfectly illuminting story:
When my cousin was 15 she got pregnant. When my aunt called my Grandma and told her, this was her exact response:
"Jesus, what a SLUT! You're such a horrible mother!"
and then she hung up on her.
Yet I can't seem to totally tear myself away from this family.
I can't seem to prove them right and admit that
I do think I am better than them and once and for all tell them to go fuck themselves.
What does all of this have to do with the title you ask?
This whole post really was not a sympathy plea. My family is what it is and I've been dealing with it for 30 years.
However, I don't like to come here and post boo hoo stuff because to be honest I am always embarrassed the next day. Biggest life lesson my family can teach you- never, ever, show your vulnerabilities, feelings being one of them, because people will go for the jugular.
And since Boo Hoo Me are pretty much the thoughts that occupy my head this time of year, I will not be posting much.
Not until I can get back to posting about what makes me, and hopefully you all, laugh. Because that's the kind of stuff I like to talk about around here.
Don't worry I'll be around and there will be posts, I'm just not sure how often I'll be feeling and happy and postful.
