because I'm drunk, and jealous of people on valtrex
Saturday, January 06, 2007 by 1peanut
Yeah I know, first I was blind and now I'm drunk. What can I say?
Yesterday we saw this girl K that I used to work with. We were....aquaintances, basically. We had mutual friends but never hung out on our own. Anyway about 2 years ago she had a major stroke, they thought she wasn't gonna live...blah blah blah. well turns out she did but she's somewhat paralized on her left side and her kids live with their dad now and blah blah blah. You know- basically her life sucks now.
So anyway we see her at the store yesterday and she says
"we should hang out sometime."
"um yeah, okay that would be...."(um wierd, because I never hung out with you before)
"call me tomorrow, we can get together and do something. here's my number."
"uhhh,okay sure, I'll give you a call tomorrow" (all said in that fake "you just totally put me on the spot because you're like handicap now and I would be such an asshole to blow you off" voice)
umm so no actually I probably won't call her. Why? I don't know maybe I'm just a bitch. or maybe because we weren't really friends before and so I don't even really know you.
Or maybe I will call because she was like desperate to hang out (and I'm not that much of a bitch). I get the feeling that since the stroke alot of her "friends" have faded away.
Okay so today L calls me to see what we're doing tonight and we make plans for her to come over for dinner. I mention that I had seen K and we decide she should come for dinner too. But don't give me too much credit for that one because if L wasn't coming over I wouldn't have called K.
Drunk= incoherent, rambly story.
Sorry
So we invite her for dinner and total hilarity ensues. I'm talking "foot in mouth" moments and way too much sharing of sexual diseases were going on.
2 & 1/2 bottles of wine later we're pretty ripped.Somehow we get on the subject of valtrex commercials. We're going on and on about these commercials because basically - I love me a good valtrex commercial.
Seriously don't they just make you think like you might actually be missing out on life if you don't have herpes? Apparently people with herpes spend all of their time on vacation- hiking, skiing, camping,- you name it, there's a valtrex commercial for it. Oh and they're all hot- like if one of them wanted to have sex with you, you might think "hell yeah. lets do it. because after all, they do lead a pretty sweet life" but then you'd sober up and be like "Fuck, now I have herpes and I'm sill here in my trailer and I just KNOW those bitches aren't gonna call me up for that next Bahama vacation." And your life would suck and you'd be all "That's it, I want my money back" and shit.
Anyway I spend five drunken minutes laughing and telling them my valtrex theory and then K says: "I have herpes. R gave it to me when i was 8 months pregnant."
*crickets*
(shit)
And that my friends, is where I leave you hanging until tomorrow.
ps. also apparently when I'm drunk I say words like seriously, basically, anyway, actually, and apparently- a lot.
pps. one more thought on valtrex- If you did have to take that shit and your life didn't end up being like one of their commercials- do you think you could sue them for not having that "Results not typical" disclaimer on their commercial?
Yesterday we saw this girl K that I used to work with. We were....aquaintances, basically. We had mutual friends but never hung out on our own. Anyway about 2 years ago she had a major stroke, they thought she wasn't gonna live...blah blah blah. well turns out she did but she's somewhat paralized on her left side and her kids live with their dad now and blah blah blah. You know- basically her life sucks now.
So anyway we see her at the store yesterday and she says
"we should hang out sometime."
"um yeah, okay that would be...."(um wierd, because I never hung out with you before)
"call me tomorrow, we can get together and do something. here's my number."
"uhhh,okay sure, I'll give you a call tomorrow" (all said in that fake "you just totally put me on the spot because you're like handicap now and I would be such an asshole to blow you off" voice)
umm so no actually I probably won't call her. Why? I don't know maybe I'm just a bitch. or maybe because we weren't really friends before and so I don't even really know you.
Or maybe I will call because she was like desperate to hang out (and I'm not that much of a bitch). I get the feeling that since the stroke alot of her "friends" have faded away.
Okay so today L calls me to see what we're doing tonight and we make plans for her to come over for dinner. I mention that I had seen K and we decide she should come for dinner too. But don't give me too much credit for that one because if L wasn't coming over I wouldn't have called K.
Drunk= incoherent, rambly story.
Sorry
So we invite her for dinner and total hilarity ensues. I'm talking "foot in mouth" moments and way too much sharing of sexual diseases were going on.
2 & 1/2 bottles of wine later we're pretty ripped.Somehow we get on the subject of valtrex commercials. We're going on and on about these commercials because basically - I love me a good valtrex commercial.
Seriously don't they just make you think like you might actually be missing out on life if you don't have herpes? Apparently people with herpes spend all of their time on vacation- hiking, skiing, camping,- you name it, there's a valtrex commercial for it. Oh and they're all hot- like if one of them wanted to have sex with you, you might think "hell yeah. lets do it. because after all, they do lead a pretty sweet life" but then you'd sober up and be like "Fuck, now I have herpes and I'm sill here in my trailer and I just KNOW those bitches aren't gonna call me up for that next Bahama vacation." And your life would suck and you'd be all "That's it, I want my money back" and shit.
Anyway I spend five drunken minutes laughing and telling them my valtrex theory and then K says: "I have herpes. R gave it to me when i was 8 months pregnant."
*crickets*
(shit)
And that my friends, is where I leave you hanging until tomorrow.
ps. also apparently when I'm drunk I say words like seriously, basically, anyway, actually, and apparently- a lot.
pps. one more thought on valtrex- If you did have to take that shit and your life didn't end up being like one of their commercials- do you think you could sue them for not having that "Results not typical" disclaimer on their commercial?
