My Peanut Gallery

Monday Night:

Every story has 3 sides, yours, theirs, and the truth. Because I'm involved in this story I can only give my side, her side as she told it to me, and my version of the truth- which in this case ends up being my side of the story.

*ring* *ring*

"Hey, could you come over for a minute? I'd like to talk to you."
"Okay"

I get to her house and she tells me her version of why she was so pissed off. Apparently a couple of different things were added into the mix.

G had come over to our house earlier Friday night and had a couple drinks with us, a story was told about a time she threw a 2 x4 at her husband's head and then chased him around the house with a knife. She says she was embarrassed because she did not know everyone at my house and that it made her sound like a psycho. *ahem* i'll just leave that comment to stand on its own.

Before all of this, J had went over to visit with them and their friends A and her new husband S. On his way out he unplugged their lights, and then yelled out "hey, your lights aren't working". T just laughed and called him an asshole while he plugged them back in.

Now, I guess her biggest problem was the fact that this year is S's very first christmas. He's from Morroco and this is his first year in the U.S. They put all the stuff up last weekend so that he could be involved and help.

Alright, my bad. I already said I was sorry. And if a small prank ruined his first christmas, which isn't even here yet, and is not about lights and decorations, well I'm sorry he's such a pussy. yeah, that's right, PUSSY. He's a damn adult, it's not like I told his kid(he doesn't have any) that there's no santa.

So, she says that she talked about it with T and they decided they didn't want to give up an 8 year friendship over this. really? cause J is about ready to. yeah, J knows how to over react too.

And she has decided to accept my apology.

well now, I'm soooo glad. But where's mine? where's the "i know i over reacted, and that whole comment about cancelling xmas was ridiculous"? I know where it is, It's not coming because she still thinks her reaction was perfectly acceptable. And that's fine, whatever.

Then she says "I know that you are sorry you did it, and now you know why I was mad."

*small aside- when in the middle of trying to make up with people DO NOT say the opposite of what they believe to be true. just nod your head.*

Ofcourse now, me being me, I say:
"uh,yeah, I'm sorry if any one was offended, and I'm sorry you guys got so pissed, but I'm not sorry I did it. And if i had spent more time planning it, it would have been worse."

*crickets*
hmmm, lots of crickets these days.
she looks at me uncomfortably for a minute, trying to decide if she should be angry again. I guess she decided against it because all she said was "I'm glad you didn't"

There is a reason I told her that, and it wasn't just to be nasty. She is a super huge drama queen who blows things out of proportion at every opportunity(this is soooo not a one time deal). She needs to understand that if she wants to be my friend there are limits to how much drama I will take from her.She needs to understand that no matter how big of a tantrum she throws I'm not always going to take her side or bow down just to keep the peace.

I ask her if we're cool now and she says yeah.
We talk about J and T and how they are gonna handle this situation. I already know J is over our whole friendship and will not back down with out a real apology. (he's very stubborn, especially when he thinks he's right).

So, as far as conclusions go, G and I are okay, but we have a poker game at a mutual friends house on friday and it should be interesting to see what happens with J and T.

I'll keep you posted as the events unfold.

Sunday:
So there i was all pissed off at my neighbors and them pissed off at me, when my brother TH and his girlfriend Jenny show up with her son R- who is 1. I now have 11 people in my house. 4 of them are children, 2 are under the age of 2. Having 8 extra people in my house is quickly starting to wear thin.

Countless times throughout the day I hear J mumbling "cancel fucken xmas, what the fuck". Let it go babe. Don't let them bother you, I'm not. Trust me there was plenty of other stuff to annoy me coming soon.

TH and Jenny arrived at our house after a 12 hour drive from tenessee, where they had just been visiting Jenny's family. Everything starts out fine, they laugh with us about the neighbors, and we settle in to visit. Around 3:45 my dad, J , and TH decide to go to Beef O'Brady's to watch the Giants game. Thank god. 3 down. now if i could only get the rest of them to leave for a little while. Anyway, the boys go watch football, and jenny says R needs to take a nap. B says he can sleep in A's playpen because Jenny did not bring his. ??? I tell Jenny to put the playpen in my room because it's the quietest part of the house.

About 30 minutes go by and I ask where Jenny is. No one knows. "Well where could she be? She went to put the baby down and I haven't seen her since........" now I'm thinking, she's not still in my room, she can't be, right? Wrong, there she was... SLEEPING ON MY BED.

Let me just interject this tidbit of info for the rest of the story- I had only met this girl once before for about 1 minute, we each said hi and that was it. She and my husband had never met.

Now, I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt. They had a long drive, and she probably just fell asleep with the baby. However, when my brother finally got her up, nothing was said. No- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to fall asleep on your bed. nothing. "Odd", I thought.

Oh, I forgot- before she went to sleep, I told her to make sure she got something to eat because I knew they were hungry. I don't really like playing hostess, So I showed her where the left over Tacos and all the fillers were in the fridge and told her to help herself. Then she left the food out all over my counters. wtf?

Basically there were a bunch of random small things that pissed me off about her- her kids clothing scattered throughout my house- a onsie in the middle of my kitchen floor, pants on the front porch, socks on my couch etc., and she wasn't watching her son- at one point i looked down and he was chewing on a scrub brush that i use in my bathroom, she was sitting there letting him do it. 2 different times I walked in my kitchen and she was standing there with my freezer door wide open- " you got anything to eat?"
"ummm, yeah- there's a bunch of stuff in the refrigerator, remember? I showed you earlier."
"oh, well, I didn't really want anything that was in there." again, wtf?

But here's the straw that broke the camels back. She used the microwave to make her son a corn dog, great no problem. 1/2 an hour later J sees the microwave door sitting open. He pushes it shut. It opens back up. The latch to hold the door closed is broke. and the push button handle thing to open the microwave is also broke and shoved in it's hole sideways.

Now, if I broke something and it was obviously an accident(we know she didn't do it on purpose), I would at least apologise. Or if it happened to be broken already when I went to use it (it wasn't), I would say say something like "hey, what happened to this?" Instead , she said nothing. Not only did she not say anything, but when my husband went out on the porch- looked specifically at her, and asked who broke the microwave- she just sat there. Not one word. Some people have no respect for other people's shit (heh. just ask my neighbors).

Thankfully everyone except my dad and step mom went home about 2 hours later, leaving my house in peace and quiet. and clutter, and messiness, and in general -not how they found it, but that was okay. I have my house back.

I know everyone was waitin for the Happy Vandal conclusion but that didn't happen until monday and this post is already dragging on. So, I will post it tonight if I have time, or tomorrow morning. I promise.

Sorry, I've been neglectful, but so much crap happened it's gonna take 2 posts. So, let's get started.

Thanksgiving was good......until it went bad. My dad and step mom came down. The food was good. The fried turkey came out great.

Friday morning my sister B and her 2 kids A & S came down, bringing the count to 8 people in my house. Everything was still going good. We played some poker, watched some movies, smoked a little chronic,- and here's where it starts to go bad.

Every year our neighboors across the street put so much shit in their yard that it looks like like santa and his elves did a holiday drive by. And every year we joke with them about how we're gonna do something to their xmas stuff.

So, a couple drinks down and a *ahem* small amount of smoking, I get the great idea to finally prank them this year. Here are the pictures.






It wasn't that bad. Seriously. We turned the snow man around so that he didn't have all his...parts... showing towards the street, we put thongs on the reindeer, and we toilet papered their tree.We didn't break anything, and we didn't take anything- which was originally the idea- steal all their xmas shit, wait till they call the police and them calmly start setting all their shit up in our front yard. Good thing we didn't.

The next morning our neighbor T comes over (because his wife G is too chicken shit to come herself) and starts talking shit. They were seriously pissed about it, but we didn't know that at first. He starts off with "is the happy vandal home?" Yes, yes I was. Happy vandal, ha ha ha good, they thought it was funny. Or not......

They "didn't spend all that time putting it up, just for us to FUCK WITH IT!" and " it's NOT FUCKEN FUNNY!" and "how would we feel if they did that to us?!"

Ummm, how would we feel? We would laugh our asses off because damn it, it was funny. Juvenile -yes, but still... funny! Grow up people it was a freakin joke.

A bunch of cuss words and not so nice things are yelled back and forth between J and T in our front yard, and then T says : "My wife's ready to cancel christmas over this!"

*crickets*

me: "*choke**cough**try not to laugh hysterically* WHAT???"
T: "I'm serious, she's ready to cancel christmas over this."

*CRICKETS*

at this point everyone at my house is pretty much in shock because, Jesus, could you possibly over-react more?

And right here with this one sentence, I get pissed. And really up to this point, i still thought the whole damn thing was funny. including the yelling match in my front yard.

Cancel xmas? Cancel? because of a SMALL practical joke?

Okay here we go. You guys are a bunch of freakin drama queens and as far as I am concerned you can stick christmas, and all of your decorations, up your ass sideways.

Get the fuck outta my yard.

I smoke a cigarette, think about it for a couple minutes, and come up with- yeah they have a right to be pissed. It's their stuff and i touched it. Okay that's fair enough. I was wrong, joke or not, it's not my stuff.

But that wasn't the only thing I was wrong about. We've known these people for years. This is how I thought it would go down: The next morning they would call and laugh, OR they would call and say ha ha funny, now come clean it up.

I smoke a couple more cigarettes and man up. I go across the street to apologise. G and T are in their front yard with their guests A and S. I say I'm sorry, and I understand they didn't think it was funny. I specifically look at G while i say it because I KNOW she is the one pushing T about this. Then G gives me attitude. "You're right, it wasn't fucken funny. we spent alot of time putting it all up!"

*Deep Breath*

"I already said i'm sorry. I'm saying it once more and then never again. It was a joke. A joke. It took us 5 minutes to do it, and it took 5 minutes for you to clean it up. All you had to do was call us and tell us to come clean it up.For you to go so over board to say you feel the need to CANCEL CHRISTMAS is absolutely RIDICULOUS, but if that's how it is, then what the fuck ever."

My left eye starts twitching. It's time to leave.

Stay tuned for part 2: an ending for the happy vandal and, when further house guesting goes wrong.

oh, and her preshus, preeeshus yard is all back together.

On Sunday we celebrated Thanksgiving with my mom and her side of the family.

And Now, Here, For your reading entertainment, some Quotes from said "celebration".

Did you know M got arrested? yeah he's selling now, and TO brought some other dealer over and they ended up shooting at each other. he's lookin at 10-20.

TO was all effed up the other night and drove his new truck into the lake. too bad cause it was real pretty.

No, T's not working, as usual he just sits around the house and plays video games. Ugh, and that girlfriend? USELESS!

Yeah D got a dishonerable dishcharge. Drugs, ......what else?

A & D were fighting the other night. No like punching the shit out of each other.

Yeah B broke up with him, now she's kinda just drifting between my house, A's and L's with the kids.

Dinner was ummmm good, no really mom it was uhhh good.

eewww, is that a hair?!

D's staying with L right now, well until she loses the house-they already repo'd her car- she's always calling in you know. Too much drinking.

Hey, lets pull up his mug shot online.

One family gathering down and one to go.

It's okay. Laugh. Go on, you know you want to. I sure as hell did.

*deck the trailer with boughs of holly, fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra
Tis the season to be a druggy, fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra

don we now our jail apparel, fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra
sing the ancient chain gang carol, fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra

See the smoking gun before us, fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra
hear the cell doors slam around us, fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra

Follow me in drunken measure, fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra ra
drinking "Captain" for the pleasure,
FAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAH RAAAAHHH*

*anybody get that fa ra ra reference?*

For example, today I heard an older lady say:
"oh, that just tickles my fancy."

HAAAAAAAAAAA HAA HAAAAAAAA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAAAAAAA

I absolutely LOVE this sentence. Any time I hear it, I picture a passage from some old Victorian novel that might go something like this:

" ....... his mouth hovered over my heaving busoms as his hand slowly drifted towards my trembling thighs. Then, against all of my gasping protests, his hand was there, tickling my fancy......."

Obviously, this is not the true meaning of the saying.
I have a sick sick mind.

heh.

On Saturday I had my Neighbor's daughter B come over to do some house work that I'm not supposed to be doing yet because of my back. She swept and mopped and vacuumed, and cleaned up peanut's room for me. She owed us a super huge big favor (long story) so her mom told her she had to come do it for free. Yay! except I felt bad so i gave her $10. ony 10 tho because, you know, I didn't feel THAT bad. heh.

So anyway, after she left I got to thinking about it, and decided I would like to have her come over every week for some cleaning. She's only 14 so she can't get a real job yet and this would give her some extra money to go do things with her friends.

I called B's mom G and talked to her about it, and she was cool with it. After we talked about what kind of stuff i will need her to do, we discussed how much I should pay B. G suggested $20. HA! That's like sweat shop wages, but since I'm poor and apparently channeling Kathie Lee, I jumped on it. Then we were talking about what I would not have her doing such as dishes, laundry and the bathrooms. bathrooms because I am a super huge FREAK about them. G said so is she but when I told her that in addition to the floors,tub, toilet, sink, and mirror deal, I also wash down the cabinets, walls, doors, door knobs, light switches, towel holders, and toilet paper holder- she just laughed and said "well, guess I'll have to teach B how to clean the bathroom the way you like them." Ha Ha. her new name to be: Super Slave Driver, Mommy G.

Okay, I'm off to make up a cleaning list. *rubs hands and cackles with mad laughter*

oh, and by the time B is old enough to get a real job and drop me like a hot potato- her sister will be old enough to take her place. heh. * more cackling*

Hello, My name is Orenthal J. Simpson, but you can call me OJ. You might remember me because I'm famous for Winning the Heisman trophy when i was a running back at USC.Then I went to play for the Buffalo Bills and then the San Francisco 49ers. I had the most rushing yards gained in a single game,also in a single season. Oh, I also had the most touch downs in a single season. Go! Me! After all that, I started doing Hertz rental car commercials, You know- just to keep Simpson a household name, just like it is today. Only now when people say Simpson they are usually talking about this bitch,: who I'm not related to, but I wouldn't kick her outta the family if ya know what I mean.

If you squint a little bit she looks a little like that bitch of an ex-wife I used to have. Heh, but I don't have to worry about her anymore, do I?! Woah, OJ, reel it back in buddy. I talk to myself sometimes- it helps keep me grounded. Anyway, Me and Nicole, Yeah we had our problems but I would never Kill her or that Scumbag Jerk off Ron Whats-his-name.



I mean C'mon You clearly saw the Evidence. Do these gloves LOOK LIKE they fit me?! No, I didn't think so. And so,I was Acquitted. But even though those great people of the jury saw the Truth And Justice of my defense, most people still think I'm guilty. Even though, since the trial, I've dedicated my life to finding their killers!

And seriously people, this prolonged belief in my guilt, hurts my poor wee sensitive feelings. And it confuses me, take a look at that picture- don't i look hurt and confused- because, again- did you not see that the gloves did not fit me. It's as clear as the blood trail I left at the scene, that I DID NOT DO THIS HEINOUS THING.

And so I wrote a book about how I did not kill my bitch wife and her boyfriend, the book will clearly explain how the murder WOULD HAVE went down if I HAD done it, But I didn't. The book is called "If I did it, Here's how it happened", coming to a Barnes and Noble near you.

Enjoy,

OJ Simpson

*****************************************************

Ten years from now.......

"So Justin, what should the title be?"

"Ummm... ooh, how about- 'How we might have maybe killed our disgusting murdering low life father, to avenge our mother's death and all the grief he put us kids through since, If we had really wanted to.', what do you think of that Sidney?."

"Well... that might be a little too long. How about... 'How we Gutted our father (Hypothetically!)."

"Yeah! That sounds pretty good. I bet we could get that Disgusting woman Judith Regan that published OJ's book, to do ours. No way she wouldn't jump on it!"
**********************************************

I really feel bad for OJ's kids in all of this. How can a parent put their kids thru this kind of shit? I bet they have therapy twice a damn day.

Finally.

I would like to thank Bossy for answering my question of, What does the H stand for in Jesus H Christ.

Here is her answer:
****************************************************************
Dear Nut,

Jesus H. Christ first appeared in American print in the late 1800s - although Mark Twain argued that the expression began a century before that. And he should know because with hair like his Mr. Twain had plenty of reason to curse.



The origin of Jesus H. Christ goes a little something like this:

Jesus is the artist formerly known as ΙΗΣΟΥΣ. This is Ancient Greek to Bossy, but I think we all can agree that it must have been a bit clumsy to shout out, “Iota eta sigma omicron upsilon sigma!” every time you dropped an Ionic Architrave on your foot.


Nevertheless this continued until those wild and crazy Latin-speaking Christians of medieval Western Europe decided to establish a Christogram – which is a symbol that represents an abbreviation of Jesus Christ. Here’s what they did:

They plucked iota eta sigma from the longer Greek version shown above.

Iota became an I.

Eta became an H.

Sigma became an S.


And the Latin interpretation of IHS became Iesus Hominum Salvator – which means Jesus, Savior of Men. It all makes perfect sense! Problem: What does IHS have to do with Jesus H. Christ?

Well – sometimes iota eta sigma was transliterated to IHC due to the visually similar form of the lunate sigma. Which is a fancy way of saying C and S look alike. If you’re a Latin-speaking Christian medieval person. Or on drugs.


And then in the 17th century the Latin letter J was discovered hanging around some oint listening to azz. This letter J was given its own designation separate from the visually similar form of iota – which is the
Latin-speaking Christian medieval way of saying What You Talkin 'Bout Willis?

So then IHC turned into JHC! Jesus H. Christ!

Either that or the H stands for Harold, as in "Our Father, who art in Heaven, Harold be thy name."

Bossy is Not kidding About Harold- It's One of The Many Theories You'll Find Here. ****************************************************************

Of course the version on her site is better, with different colored text, bold lettering, and italics, but i didn't have time (read: patience) for all that since Blogger didn't simply let me cut and paste the whole thing. Oh no, I had to cpoy the words, and then copy and paste each picture, etc. Which all took longer than I expected.

Any way, Thank You Bossy for such a time consuming, indepth answer.

Now when I hear my mother yelling Jesus H Christ, at least I'll know what it means ;)

Rain. And Thunder. And Lightning. (cue dramatic entry scene)

That's what I woke up to this morning, and then I wanted to roll right back over and go back to sleep. Because seriously what's better than sleeping in, all toasty and warm, on a nasty rainy morning? Going to work is better- according to my boss. *raspberries*

I'm not used to waking up to rain any more. Sure when I lived up north it was a common occurance, but not so much in florida. Yeah it rains, alot sometimes, but always in the afternoon or sometimes the middle of the night. I don't remember the last time I woke up to rain here.
I don't like it. It makes me tired, and lazy, and kinda crabby.

Stupid rain.

I just went out for a cigarette and the rain made me think maybe, just maybe, I should quit smoking.

There I was all huddled under the stoop shivering and trying not to get wet, all hunched over like quasimodo and i was reminded of my highschool days when we would sneak behind a building to grab a quick smoke. All hunched over like that was gonna make us smaller and harder to catch or something. made me smirk a little tho.

heh. Stupid rain.

oooopps. Okay it's more like 7/8 ish but I finally am here posting the pictures.

But first....
I'm late posting because when I picked up peanut from preschool, I took him to Burger King for a quick dinner. I figured we would only be there for a little while because he is scared of the playground stuff, so he never wants to play in there. Apparently he has gotten over his fear of climbing in all the tunnels and whatnot- we were there for an hour.

About 15 minutes before we left a couple women came in with about 8 little girls. they were so cute, they had just came from gymnastics and still had their little gear on. Awww, such cute, pretty, happy, LOUD ASS LITTLE GIRLS. Holy shit, 30 seconds after they finished eating they were on the playground squeeling like a bunch of stuck damn pigs. I'm pretty sure only female children know how to hit that one certain pitch. You know, the one that instantly gives you a pounding headache.

Good Lord, Holy Mary Mother Of the Sweet Baby Jeebus, I am reminded of how glad I am to have a boy.

Any way, on to pictures........

Peanut in his home made store bought costume


My fake pumpkins actually turned out pretty good after I carved them



That's all the halloween pics, on to the mideival fair....


Elephant rides for all.....if you wanna pay 10 bucks a pop.


gotta ride the ponies too.


meh, that's about as far as he got on the rock wall before he got scared.


I thought this ride would scare the crap out of him. It's called the sling shot. The name pretty much says it all, but he just kept yelling "higher, higher" in between his giggling.


Bda bda bda, thaaat's all folks.

Woah. It's Tuesday. And I haven't put up a new post for your reading enjoyment since Friday. I know, I know, big slacker me.

Guess what, I still don't have a post for you!

Well, i mean, really, I do....... but........ Not now. When I get home.
I have pictures to post for your viewing pleasure. Halloween, and the mideival fair, but they are on my computer at home. I know, I suck, but i forgot to email them to myself at work so i could put them up here today.

So, check back around 5/6ish. I'll have them up, I promise.


On a side note.....
I really want to know how to do that slash/scratch out word thing. You know the one where there is a word that is still readable but has a line thru it. I see it other people's blogs and it's PISSING me off because I can't figure out how to do it.

So if you know how, could you tell me? Pretty Please.

Learning how to put video feed on here would be good too, if any one knows.

I would love you FOR EVAH!!

Update: I would like to thank Chuck And Rose from the Blogger Help Group for teling me how to do this.
Sweet!

At my job we are off for Thanksgiving and the day after. My dad and stepmom are coming to visit so I also want to take off the Monday and Tuesday after Thanksgiving. My boss is not too happy about this, as i just took off 2 days for my surgery (What?! 2 WHOLE days for surgery?). It's not that he minds giving me the time, it's just that he hates having a temp come in. I don't blame him, because i seriously have a cake job. Really ANYONE could do my job with like 1 day of training (that's all i got, and i was fine).

However, apparently when you have this conversation with the temp agency, they write it in stone:
"Hi, this is H form TCS and we need someone on Friday and Monday."
"Okay great, what kind of work will they need to do?"
"Basically answering the phone, and taking messages."

Now obviously I do more than that, but she didn't even put away the 8 - 10 files that we use daily or anything. whatever no big deal.

So here's where my sneaky little boss gets his revenge on me.

A couple months ago the girl that was here before me (K) got downsized from her current job. so she called sniffin around about getting this job back. uh uh not happening.

Well since my boss doesn't want a temp in here, guess who's gonna be working here while i'm off. Yup, K.

Ha ha sneaky boss, the jokes on you cause I'm not worries about that little airhead. No, Really, I'm not. I swear.

ps. boss, i need this job so don't make me come in there and physically remove her. okay? okay.

BOGO- buy one get one half off.

You hear bogo, and most people think Payless* shoe stores.

On my way to work this morning, i heard a commercial for plastic surgery procedures. Buy one get the next one half off.

Now, I'm down with the half off shoes because I'm pretty hard on shoes. So if they are cheap and fall apart- meh, oh well.

However, something about 1/2 off surgical procedures just strikes me as somehow.......wrong. Like is it gonna fall apart sooner? will my face re-sag ahead of schedule? will my breast be unlifted that much quicker? will my fat cells be unlipo'ed faster?
It's a medical procedure, done by real doctors, so I'm sure it's not really like this. But maybe they should have rethunk their advertising strategy just a little bit. Because, to me, BOGO kinda screams:

"look at what i got for 1/2 off!!"
"well who cares if they last? look how cute they are."

But maybe that's just me.

please,..... discuss


*BTW, please click on the payless link and have a little gander at the fuck me boots on their home page. I think I'm gonna go get them biatches today after work.

Okay, today is the day. Go out and vote. Vote. Vote. Vote. It's your right. Especially women and minorities. Past generations fought hard to give us the right to vote, please don't make light of their efforts by not exorcising your right to vote. Use it. No Voting= no right to complain about our government. They're there because we put them there. If you don't like who's there, vote so you can change it. Every vote really does count. If they didn't, we would have never had that infamous crazy ass recount here in Florida.

Okay public service announcement is over.

Let's talk about Kirsty Alley, and her bikini baring appearance on Oprah. I've read about it on a couple sites, and the overall opinion that I got was- she is still too heavy to wear a bikini, especially on National Television.

I say Eff Off to that.

I thought she looked great. She's lost about 75 lbs, which puts her at about 150 lbs. At 5'8" that is not a bad weight. I think she looked beautifully voloptuous. She was proportionate, there were no unruly bulges of fat, and lets just talk about the fact that she's 55. 55 and she looks this good?! looks about 35-40 to me.

Because I'm lazy and have not figured out how to put video on my site yet, you can see her in her full Oprah glory here at Mamapop.

Seriously people, she looks great. Please, give some credit where credit is due.

Last night, after I got home from the hospital, we went to D & J's house. I know you're thinking "what? you just had major surgery" And I was in pain but J had a bunch of people coming over and Her friend D was doing mani's and pedi's right at J's house. So I figured, well I could sit at home and be sore, or I could go to J's and be sore while I get my feet rubbed. Because really, when do you ever give up a chance at a foot rub? that's just crazy(as bat shit? heh heh).

So we went, and i got a mani and pedi, all very relaxing. But i also got more than that.

Sometimes I tend to keep people at a certain distance, oh you will know you're my friend and i will do basically anything for you, but sometimes it's hard for me to lean on people and accept that it's a two way street and that these people love me too.

So there I was all doped up and kind of out of it, when I realized that the 5th different person had just come to check on me and see if I needed/wanted anything. Anything at all: more pillows, another drink, something to eat, a blanket, did i want to go lay down?, more medicine, their first born child, etc.
Normally this kind of attention would embarrass me, but last night as every single person (14 total) asked me more than once, what they could do for me, i was overcome with the greatest feeling. These are my friends. Not aquaintances, not just people we see sometimes, but real friends. People that made sure they were going out of their way to take care of me.

I am so glad i didn't just blow it off and stay home last night, because last night that distance that i tend to keep people at, was lessened. And that makes me very happy.

Well here I am. waiting in the room for them to come get me for surgery.

OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWW.
okay the IV is in.

What is it about hospitals that make people so nervous?
The colors on the walls, only seen in medical facilities?
the constant hum and beep of machines?
the smell? yes maybe the smell- of dying, overlapped by old person, all covered by disinfectant.

one sec.......
okay, I'm back
blood pressure, check. 118/68
I'm not as nervous as I thought I would be. I'm not but I am.
Odd how the hospital itself is making me nervous but not the actual surgery.
Probably because I was very comfortable with my surgeon. He was very nonchalant about the whole thing, but not in a bad "whatever,*yawn* no big deal" kind of way. It was in a good "I do this procedure every day and i have every expectation of success" kind of way.

Oh Boy, they're here I gotta go.
will check back after

Well, October is over and November has started. Time to start thinking about the things we have to be grateful about this year. I have a lot, and I'm sure you do to, if you take the time to think about it.

I went to the hospital yesterday to do pre surgery registering and testing. On one of the registration forms it asks for an emergency contact person living outside of your home. I immediately wrote down my mother in law's name and #. Why did I put her name down when i have 2 sisters, a brother, grandparents,2 aunts, and my mother living here in Florida? Because in my family, I am the one they call in case of emergency, not the other way around. Even my mother. Our roles have reversed somewhere along the way.

What can I say about my mother that hasn't already been discussed? Okay, I'm gonna tell you something that I have alluded to here and here, but never ever actually said to anyone......... I feel nothing for my mother. Nothing. except maybe annoyance now and then. I don't ask her opinions about anything, I don't think about her when she is not around, I don't miss her when she's not there. I just don't think about her in general.

11 days from now will be the 3 year anniversary of the car accident that almost killed my mother. The paramedics cancelled the bay flight helicopter because she was dead at the scene. They had to recall the helicopter because they were finally able to get a breathing tube in her and get a pulse. Both of her arms were shattered inside form elbow to wrist, she had internal bleeding, a collapsed lung, and some brain damage- some from the car wreck and some from the length of time with no oxygen.

On the way to the hospital i remembered being worried, and yes i hear you saying "well of course you were", but the god honest truth is far more despicable and nasty. I honestly don't remember feeling anything about her dying. Can you believe at a time like that, i was not feeling anything about her death one way or the other.

As i stood there looking down at her with various tubes running in and out of her body, and a breathing machine keeping her alive, I was thinking about what I was going to have to do when she died. Not if, When. And i don't remember even being sad, only a blankness. I know some of you will say" oh, you were just in shock" and i would like to blame it on that, but if I'm gonna be honest, it wasn't shock. Yes, I cried a little, but wouldn't everybody have been shocked to find out that I was really crying about all the stuff I was going to have to take care of?
My 16 year old sister would have to come live with us, would her real father find out, and would i have to fight him for custody? funeral arrangements would have to be made, her house would have to be sold, hospital bills would have to be taken care of, people would have to be notified. and all of this would have to be done by me.

When the doctor came in and told us(my husband and I) that if she made it through the night there was a good chance she would live, did i feel relief? No, and that makes me sick. What i felt was the crushing weight of responsibility. If she made it, she and my sister would have to come live with us. Because of the injuries to her arms, I would have to bath her, feed her, clothe her, take her to the bathroom and WIPE FOR HER.

She did make it, and I did end up doing all of those things and a lot more. For 6 months. On top of taking care of my 6 month old, working, and trying to not let this make my marriage fall apart.

Then, finally she was able to go home. Only, hurricane Charlie came thru a month and a half later, and they had to come live with us for another 2 months.

Role reversal.

So, what kind of person does that make me, with these non-feelings for my mother?

I don't know, and I'm not sure I even care anymore.

I'm just thankful that I have somebody to write in the "emergency contact" spot, even someone else's mother, willing to take care of me, for a change.